To Be Posted – About 1,099 words – STET
Originally Appeared in IAA LJ
Click Here For Formatted Version (Images)

today the nature of my being is to include sitting at my table eating wendies (which I thought of during much time in line and said double cheeseburger and five piece nuggets while thinking very hard of the dollar menu items, double cheeseburger and five piece nuggets, but getting the regular menu (without a meal, she said. Asked.) without a meal double cheeseburger, which I suppose has lettuce and onions and let me check, pickles

I’m going to pretend to myself that I’m not going to post this (I am) and I’m going to pretend to myself that I’m not going to post this publicly (possible)
but I am a creature of minor rebellions (riding my bike on the double yellow line and feeling a very real fear and realization that with very very small motions I could will myself to be dead, and at the same time knowing that I would not do it, but the second I become the me that would do such things it is possible I would cease to exist (to other people

For example, the me that would find a sentence without a period or an opening parenthesis without a closing

or the me that plays games like how long do I go without mentioning something obvious?

or Camus (stranger) me versus Nietzsche (gay science) me versus “I’m obviously not as well read as you” me versus “Look how intelligent I am” me

Thinking construct, chemical bound and aided. Puts this bold (needs a close parenthesis to the above here:) )

Put this bold:

Mind goes blank on what, in the past seemed so important as a prim oh no

This is now bold:

“blank mind again, bite of sandwich”

There is it again

“The only thing I can be sure of in life is its complexity”

End bold

One bite is left of the sandwich and he realizes two (among others) things.

The first is that the taste he disliked the entire time was mustard (he was aware of this. I am horselover fat, he is me).

The second is that (he pauses here because he does not remember the second. This would be a good time to talk about his earlier conversation with Justin, representing

Justin: I do not remember what I said to you while sitting on the park bench, I do remember what I said to you.

Ian: I am now laughing while typing because I am so very clever.

And this would be written in giant font on the side of a gallery wall if he willed it so

But an equally artistic and beautiful moment would be himself

long gray mustache sitting on a park bench:

“There are choices I made in life, and they are the ones I made. To me everything was a metaphor, and every drug a thinking drug. Every move I made was beautiful, and carried with it great meaning. My life was perfect, as every life is. And I am the man in the tower, looking down at the sprawling city, and I am the baby in the gutter thinking clichés behind his fly covered eyes.”

And then he would turn to himself and edit the sentence:

Long Gray Mustache, nursing his obvious physical discomforts, hernia et al, in direct contrast with his extremely forwardly positive vocal statements

And this discourse would be designed to make one think and feel, which one should be doing anyway, with absolutely no prodding or encouragement.

New (sub)section and a sip of water
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playing punctuation and grammar games should be a section of its own. How meta.

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Actual subsection:

If being a creature of faith, belief, and solid existence and being a creature of questions, contradictions, and fluid existence are truths (given) and of equal beauty (surmised?) and equally important (this parenthetical remark is existent to point out the previous two parenthetical remarks as a degradation of sureness [an increase in throwness {geworfenheit}, unrelated], but does so in a way that is not obvious at first and is quite artful) then What events and chemical occurrences conspire to differentiate between the two?

This calls for an epic (Homerian) list: Here, in brackets much like the ones surrounding html tags and for said reason not actually used, is an excuse for why the author did not actually make such a list, probably calling into account the author’s laziness and nature that makes him open to asking questions but not as good at taking the time to properly consider them (or share his considerations if taken)

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Copy And Pasted Several Times From The Front And Bottom of The Document Section

Edit: The Following Entry Has Been Edited Carefully To Make Sure No Edits Occurred

Post Script: The Out Pouring Of Creative Juices Is Something That Not Every Being Requires

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Self Important and Degrading Omega Section

In an era where substances are easy to find but morals hard to come by…

In a year where post-modern is modern and absurd is absolved…

In a movie announcer voice…

“Where are you?” “I’m here… I’m in my room. That’s easy enough to answer” “How did you get there?” “I biked” “That’s Far” “Not Really, hold on” “I don’t want to hold on” “I’m sorry. I’m writing something.” “Oh. Did you meet your friend?” “No.” “Ok, bye.” “Bye.” This is good, as it is possible to reference concrete things and connect to an action and words that are lost.

… back to living, An Important Act, back to pretending someone will read this (Spoiler Alert: they will), back to writing an entire paragraph without referencing the fact that there is a human being writing said paragraph, which is innately obvious in the fact of the paragraph’s once and continued existence.

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“This is a work of fiction,” he thought. “careful craftsmanship and quality ingredients combined to bring you the perfect Monet. Moment.” As he glared at the lillypads, his appreciation for all things and no things grew and shrank.

He felt as though he could sympathize with the Hare Krishnas, with the Nihilists, with the Evangelists and the Atheists.

“Today I am an idealized figure, but tomorrow I shall be a man. When I post myself I will become free and being free I will be able to move about my life as society expects me to, laughing to myself at how I’ve outwitted it by doing everything it expects me to.”

And he twisted his mustache and adjusted his separation of character from author hat, and stared.